[moldbreakers]

Last Saturday, during a church league basketball game, I became frustrated at a foul call that I felt went unfairly against me. It was an early second foul, and I knew that I would have to sit for the rest of the half to avoid picking up a third. As I walked to the bench, I kicked out at a chair in my frustration and knocked it over with a loud clang. I then sat down with a humpf and began to pout for the rest of the half.

I’m not writing this to defend my actions. There is no defense to kicking a chair – or any other action that is borne directly out of anger, frustration or impatience.

The cool thing about God is that when we make mistakes, he teaches us lessons. This is one of those lessons.

In my life – whether it be on the basketball court, at home with my wife, in the car in traffic, or at work – I tend to react to whatever situation comes my way. When something affects me, I act out of however it makes me feel. Stimuli equals immediate reaction.

This is wrong.

Solomon wrote in Proverbs 14:29: “Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.” When I react with immediacy, it shows my own foolishness and fails to display the glory of God’s character. You would think that the guy who’s been teaching about wisdom for the past month would have this one under control. Yikes. Talk about conviction!

Glory to God that even in our foolishness, he can redeem the situation and teach us  valuable lessons. Here is what He is showing me about patience:

1. Admit it when you’re wrong

The first step of repentance is agreeing that a sin is a sin. When you realize a mistake, tell God, and tell the people whom you have wronged. This is the first step for me because my first instinct when I sin is to try and rationalize it away. The enemy would love nothing more than to convince me that I have done nothing wrong. The way to stay trapped in my sin is to keep it in the dark; the way to be cured of it is to bring it into the light.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

2. Learn to respond, not react

In Mark 11, Jesus drives the money changers out of the temple. He overturns their tables on his way and (in John’s account) takes time to make a whip out of cords before doing so. Mark gives us an extra detail that is not in the other two accounts, however. Jesus actually arrives at the temple the night before and observes the sin that is going on (the money changers would charge extremely inflated amounts of money for the people to buy sacrificial animals, knowing the people had to buy from them). Jesus doesn’t act right then. He watches and observes. Then he leaves! In Mark’s account, Jesus waits until the next day to come back and drive the money changers out. Jesus took time to evaluate the situation and decide what he wanted to do before he acted.

Of course, Jesus acted out of righteous anger for God when he cleared out the temple. They had turned a “house of prayer for all nations” into a “den of robbers.” Often when I am angry my first instinct is to react – and I very rarely have a righteous reason to be angry! Usually, I am just taking something as a personal attack that probably isn’t one. But because I am prideful, I act out of hurt. I should learn from Jesus’ example: He was being personally attacked (the money changers were using God’s house to make personal, immoral profit) and he still didn’t react. Jesus paused, took time to think, and decided how he wanted to respond. He made sure his reaction was appropriate and sinless, and then carried out that action. When I find myself becoming frustrated or impatient, I need to take these same steps: Pause, Think (& pray!) and Respond.

3. Give others permission to speak truth into your life

Other than the Holy Spirit, the best help that we have in this life is one another. Every single human is imperfect and each of us has blind spots. Even if I can see it and know that I am struggling in an area of my life, encouragement and prayer from another person are invaluable. However, I need to help other people feel empowered to speak truth into my life. I need to reach out to the men around me and give them permission to hold me accountable; hopefully they would in turn ask the same of me. Together, we can watch each other’s backs and protect each other from the enemy’s attacks. Only together can we help each other to be the men (and women!) God wants us to be.

“One person could be overpowered. But two people can stand up for themselves.” Ecclesiastes 4:12

Hopefully, the lessons that God is teaching me can be an encouragement to you! I think that we all tend to (re)act out of our frustration instead of pausing and then responding to the situation at hand. The next time that you find yourself reacting in a negative way out of frustration, use that moment to see what God is teaching you and allow him to grow your patience!

RAH